20 April, 2011

A really, really great interview...

In my opinion this has to be one of my top 5 all time interviews. Thank Betty Brisk.
I'VE been forced to keep this interview secret from Mr Brisk - he is unreasonably jealous of my enthusiasm for you. How do you deal with furious middle-aged husbands?

I try to convey to the rightfully furious husbands that I'm here to HELP them. Your time together at my concert is only part of your evening. Wink.

You're described as the housewives' favourite but I gather you are now also corrupting, sorry, converting a much younger audience who see you as cool.

I chalk it up to "nerd" being the new "cool" and I gladly welcome this younger audience to my cult... er... fanbase.

The thought of talking to you has brought me out in a hot flush. Your audiences are packed with women of a certain age - how can we harness all that heat for the benefit of humankind?

Betty, your question has turned this interview into a think tank and I will forward it to the UK Department Of Energy And Climate Change. The hot flushes of the world will save us all.

You've just turned 30 and are currently single. Are you fighting your way through crowds of girls looking for lurve whenever you leave the house? Some celebrities would gather up armfuls of them. Not tempted?

I often find myself with armfuls of love-hungry ladies roaming the streets. I'm just not famous enough for The Sun to notice!

As you can imagine, I'm constantly wooed by ardent admirers (it gets on my nerves to be frank, but I try not to reject them too cruelly). What's the most outrageous proposal you've received?

Someone had "Will you marry me?" tattooed on her back. I was shocked and flattered but noticed it wasn't name specific so didn't feel too bad about saying: "Move aside, you tart!"

Do English girls live up to their reputation for being a little, well, forward?

I enjoy a bit of forward behaviour. I'm relatively shy so it's nice to know where a girl stands or how badly she wants you to put your shirt back on.

What's your chat-up technique?

I sing all the time so serenading a girl always seems a little forced. I'm actually pretty timid about bringing a girl to one of my shows too. I really should learn to use my powers for evil more often.

You've been described as America's answer to Charlotte Church. Does that mean we might see you falling over in nightclubs after one too many beers?

I would hope that's what was meant by that comparison! I can't think of another that would fit.

As respectable pillars of the community, Mr B and I were shocked to discover it's illegal to have sex in your garden in the UK. Have you accidentally broken any laws?

Yes! I just moved to New York and was shocked, after receiving a hefty fine, to discover that it's illegal to walk around with an ice cream cone in my pocket.

I know you've only just turned 30 but have you thought about planning your funeral? I think I'd like to be pushed out to sea on a burning ship while mourners line the shore wailing. Any ideas how you'd like to be sent off?

I think about this hourly and constantly update my will online when I have free moments. The current edition requests being shot out of a cannon into a giant shepherd's pie crust, baked in an oven for a little over an hour and fed to a family of Peruvian alpacas. I then wish for the droppings to be picked up in pine-scented baggies and buried in a cemetery.

Josh's new single Higher Window is out on April 25. His album Illuminations is out now.

Source - TheSun.co.uk

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